The Islamic perspective of parenting
Assalaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.
We thank Allah for another Friday. May Allah make it another day of more good deeds that will be a reason for Allah’s forgiveness.
Before looking at the way we relate with children, I thought of establishing the foundation for it first. Here we go:
1. Children are part of the worldly enjoyments just like wealth, (Al-Kahf 18:46).
2. They can be a trial for you if they are not well brought up, (At-Tagaabun 64:15).
3. Allah warned us against children and wealth that they should not derail us from the remembrance of Allah, (Al-Munafiquun 63:9).
4. It is important to all of us to pray for righteous children. Prophet Zakariyyah (AS) did that in Al-Imran 3:38.
5. Righteous children are a permanent/continuous charity even after death, you continue reaping from their deeds and prayers, (Hadith: Muslim 1631).
6. The prayers (especially the prayer of seeking for Allah’s forgiveness) of a righteous child raise the status of parents in Jannah, (Hadith: Ahmad and Ibn Maja). Therefore, righteous children are a permanent investment for the hereafter.
7. Children are a gift from Allah. He can bestow upon you males ( like Prophet Ibrahim AS), females (like Prophet Luut AS), males and females (like Prophet Muhammad SAW), or render you barren (like Prophet Yahya AS). Read Al-Shuurah 42: 49-50 for details.
8. As parents, we have an obligation to protect our children from hellfire through proper upbringing, (At-Tahreem 66:6).
9. Instruct your children to pray at the age of seven or even earlier than that so that they can get used to the acts of worship, (Taha 20: 132).
10. We are all shepherds and every shepherd will be asked about his/her flocks, (Hadith by Bukhar and Muslim).
11. We should all be good in order to be perfect examples/models for our children. What you saw is what you harvest sometimes. May Allah make us excellent parents.
12. Choose for them a righteous father or mother. This is the foundation of realizing a righteous child.
13. Ensure that the wedding process and what comes after abide by the teachings of Allah not your personal whims, friends’ desires or relatives.
14. As a father, treat the pregnant wife well, and pregnant mother, be good in all your ways in order to influence the behaviours of your baby positively.
15. Be thankful to Allah for the children He bestows upon you. Slaughter for them Aqeeqah. Introduce to them the Kalimah “Laa Ilaaha Illa llah” upon their birth through Adhaan.
16. Give them good names.
17. Breast feed them as much as you can. Quran (2:233) mentions 2 years to whomever wishes to complete that stipulated period but not compulsory.
18. Create an Islamic environment at home that can nurture your children as spiritually empowered and responsible human beings.
19. Let them grasp the ettiquetes of eating, sleeping and cleanliness early enough. Ensure that they learn the basic manners of kindness, generosity, hospitality, patience and humility at home.
20. Let them know their Lord, His Messenger Muhammad SAW, His Book (Al-Quran), learn short stories of the Sahabaa, and many more useful knowledge.
21. “Instruct your children to pray at the age of 7 and discipline them if they are negligent about it at the age of 10 and seperare boys and girls in dwellings-allocate separate rooms for them.” Hadith Transmitted by Abudaud.
22. Ensure that your children learn Quran or get the basics of Quranic sciences and Islamic theology at an early stage. Because what they learn during childhood, will be practiced throughout life. Learning this deen at an advanced age may be tough to many. Imagine the kind of schedule you have now, can it allow you to learn new practices of Islam or knowledge perfectly?
23. Teach them to respect Ulammas (knowledgeable people), elders, relatives, friends and ensure that they learn to be responsible over others.
24. Choose for them good schools that can build them into all-around professionals. Most importantly, professionals who will be a solution to the current challenges of this Ummah.
25. Influence their choice of friends. You have some powers over this. Guide them to who a good friend can be. And test them to describe for you their friends.
26. Be just while dealing with them.
27. Proper raising of girls is greatly rewarded by Allah. The Messenger SAW promised Jannah to a believer who raises his/her daughters (2 or 3 even 1) well until they get married. This calls for seriousness and prayers. Let us get determined to fulfil this.
28. Motivate those who excel and encourage or inspire the lazy ones as well.
29. Orient some of your children to learn what you are doing if it is lawful, for instance business so that they can be able to take it up forward in your absence.
May Allah join us in Jannah with our families.